Last night I took a big step in my self-exploration. I made my first trip to a gay cruising venue here in Melbourne called Club80.

Lets rewind back to two days prior, when I got a message from someone on WorldRubberMen inviting me to meet him at Club80 on Saturday night. First of all I’ve never even heard of the place before, and I hardly know this guy and he’s asking me to meet him there? Alarm bells were sounding in my head and I initially declined his offer, but after thinking about it for a day I decided to meet up with him after all, and I set some terms of my own. The rest of the day was in agony waiting for his response, and mentally preparing myself to go to his place which I’d never otherwise go. I’ve never even been to a gay bar or dance club, not to mention a gay cruising place.

He finally replied the message I left for him on the web site at about 6pm, and apologizing cos he would not be going there after all on that night. After all that rationalizing and calming of nerves I had done the whole day, I couldn’t just let it slip. Sure I was nervous as hell, but I was also curious and wanted to see what this place is like. Having visited the web site I was suitably impressed and intrigued by the facilites, and of course what goes on in the dimly lit halls. So i summed up my courage, after much persuasion from a few close online friends, got myself dressed (ripped jeans and a tight, white t-shirt) and off I went.

The place wasn’t hard to find, and I paid the $15 and was let through the heavy wooden door. It was around 9 when i got there and there weren’t many people around then, so i walked around
checking the place out. Of the people that were there, some were using the computers, others watching the movies in the movie lounge. The main lounge areas are on the 1st floor and at the back there are stairs leading up to the cruising zone and loft, and down to the ‘dungeon’. So I went up and everything was like I saw in the photos on their site, and then some. Very industrial-looking, with pipes, metal bars, railings and stairs, with dim lighting all around. The main cruising area has lots of small cubicle rooms, some with beds, some without. Further upstairs was the ‘loft’ which has about 5 or 6 rooms and they all have leather slings in them. There are iron prison bars which can be looked through into the rooms from the corridor but a shutter can be pulled down from inside if you want privacy.

At the time I was walking around, the ground floor ‘dungeon’ was still closed but there were posters announcing that there was a special thing going on… “Megafist” which from what I gathered was a regular meet by members of a Yahoo Group of the same name, into fisting, obviously. The doors were only to be opened at 10pm. Next door to the dungeon is another cruising area that totally pitch black and is like a maze of oil drums stacked up to form walls. You can peep through the gaps into the dungeon area, where I saw there were 2 or 3 slings and a few more private rooms.

It was in the pitch black darkness when i was looking through, that someone came and felt me up from behind, groping hands around my ass and up my chest. I sorta panicked for a bit, not knowing what to do next. To let him continue to what? I turned around and we kissed a bit. Then he asked me if i wanted to go to a room upstairs for some fun. Ok, so i agreed.

There was kissing, hugging and sucking… and he asked if I wanted to be fucked. I wasn’t so sure about that so I kinda dissuaded him, but then he asked if I wanted to fuck him instead. So I decided to give it a go, and rubbered and lubed up my cock, but getting my dick into his anus was a lot harder than I imagined! In my frustration and nervousness I kinda lost my hard-on, which was embarassing, which made it even worse and i couldn’t get it back. eeeeeps. It was most probably because I wasn’t particularly attracted to him after seeing him in slightly better light. I apologized for my poor ‘performance’ and we went for some juice at the bar. We sat down and chatted a bit, but there were no sparks and I was losing interest. He gave me his number with the hopes of me calling him back but I would seriously doubt it.

I was still a bit tense and shaken, so I chilled out at the lounge reading the papers, and using the computers for a bit of surfing. Around half-past-midnight I went cruising again, both upstairs and downstairs around the dungeon area. There were more people around now and the people in the upstairs cruise zone standing about. Talk about being in a ‘meat market’! I saw a lot of hot men in leather chaps and jeans, and a lot of shaven and short-cropped heads (which I have a soft spot for). I guess it all goes with the look.

I wasn’t sure of what’s supposed to happen and protocols etc., so i just walked right through the hallways checking people out (as well as I could in the dim light). I went round a few times. I saw a cool guy in an army uniform and passed him by a few times. he’d seen me and smiled at me before, so i eventually built up the guts to stop and chat him up, complimenting his outfit. So we chatted a bit then went back down to the bar and got some drinks and chatted some more, about our backgrounds and sex and fetishes.

It seems he’s more into role playing and bondage of the army trainer kind of scenes, and he asked me if we wanted to go and ‘play’ a bit. I agreed to it, and he was very accomodating. He let me decide how we play and how far it goes. So we role played a bit and I was his recruit. There was kissing, tit play, submission of control (eg. “Your cock is mine now, boy. I own it and you do not touch it without my permission, boy. Do you understand, boy?”), that kind of stuff, which was a first for me. He’d order me to do stuff like play with his cock and balls, tits etc., and he’d play with my cock and balls while I’m ‘at ease’. Then he had me face the wall with my hands held up high and jerked me off while standing behind me, with his cock between my legs and made me stroke it. He made me cum that way, holding me tight from behind, kissing my neck, with me pinned against the wall, and blowing my load on it. After that I was still under his control and he made me play with his tits while he jerked himself off to orgasm. After that we just stayed in the room and laid on the bed. I sat between his legs, my back on his chest and we just relaxed and enjoyed the cuddling and chatted about stuff.

We got along really well and before we knew it, it was 2am and he had to make a move as he had things to do the next day. He offered to send me back home which was a relief as there was no more public transport at that time and I’d otherwise have to take a cab.

On the whole it was a good, positive experience for me. I still feel a bit ‘dirty’ for going to place like this which in my conscience would be a dodgy and seedy place to be… but then again it was an eye opening experience to see what goes on behind these closed doors. My partner for the night was telling me, usually when ‘cruising’ people just go straight to the sex without much talk, but I, on the other hand, prefer to know the person a bit before doing anything. I guess that part of me is keeping me ‘safe’ from this otherwise risky behaviour.

The other thing, is that I think I feel more comfortable around guys more than girls. I think it’s to do with knowing what the other person wants. Women are like a totally different species to me. Is this the confirmation I needed to know that I’m for a fact, gay? Tough call, that. In any case, I’ve definitely taken one step forward in life yesterday by overcoming the fear and tension of going to Club80. I’ve already crossed the threshold and I wouldn’t hesitate to go back there and other bars and venues too.